Noah: The Original Prepper
Presenters: Adam Sandler
Time TBD
God says the world is ending. Build a boat. For 600 years, Noah was that guy everyone mocked at parties — "Hey Noah, how's that ark coming along?" Then it rained for 40 days and suddenly he was the most prepared person on Earth. We'll explore why GenX relates to the idea of being ahead of the curve while everyone else is still in denial, and what it means to be the crazy one who was right all along.
Clean vs. Unclean
Presenters: Ben Stiller, Jonathan Safran Foer
Time TBD
Rules about what you can touch, eat, and who you can hang out with. Leviticus basically invented the concept of "you're not my type." We'll explore how these ancient purity laws map to modern social anxiety, and why GenX was the first generation told to "question everything" while still being told to stay in our lane.
Sabbath: The Original Do Not Disturb
Presenters: Billy Crystal
Time TBD
God said rest. Not maybe, not if you have time — rest. One day a week where nothing happens. No work, no shopping, no email. In an era of 24/7 connectivity, Leviticus gave us the original "off the grid" command. We'll discuss why the Sabbath was radical then and radical now, and how GenX became the first generation to perfect the art of pretending to rest while still checking our phones.
Census: Who Counts?
Presenters: Carrie Brownstein, Dalia Ravikovitch
Time TBD
God tells Moses to count everyone. Not for stats — for worth. Every person matters. Except when they don't. We'll dig into what a census meant in ancient times (it wasn't just counting heads), and what it means now when algorithms count us but don't value us. For everyone who's ever felt like a number in a system that doesn't see them.
Wilderness Wanderings
Presenters: Harvey Keitel, Steven Spielberg
Time TBD
Forty years in the desert. No GPS. No Uber. Just a cloud by day and fire by night. This class is for everyone who felt like they were wandering in their twenties, thirties, and still feel it in their fifties. The wilderness wasn't punishment — it was the journey. We'll discuss how to find your manna in the wasteland.
Forty Years of Waiting
Presenters: Jeff Goldblum
Time TBD
The longest timeout in history. The Israelites wandered until everyone who said "we can't" died off. That's not divine punishment — that's generational change. This class is about waiting for your moment, watching the world change, and realizing you're still standing when everyone who told you to give up is gone.
The First Family Feud
Presenters: Joel Coen
Time TBD
Cain kills Abel. First murder. First sibling rivalry. First time someone asked "why do I feel invisible?" decades before existentialism was cool. We'll unpack this primal trauma and how it echoes in every family dinner where one kid got more attention. Bonus: what the Mark of Cain actually meant (it wasn't a skin condition).
In the Beginning Was the Word
Presenters: Leonard Cohen
Time TBD
Before there was Facebook, before there was MTV, before there was anything — there was the Word. We'll explore how Genesis 1 flips the script on creation myths: no gods fighting, no cosmic fish, just speak and it happens. Like coding, but for reality. For a generation that grew up with "In the beginning there was nothing, and then we made the internet," this is your origin story.
Moses' Greatest Hits
Presenters: Leonard Cohen
Time TBD
Moses gives the same speech five times. The Dude abides, but Moses? He repeats. Deuteronomy is the original "let me remind you" — because no one was listening the first four times. We'll explore repetition as love, and why saying the same thing differently is the real art of communication.
Choose Life
Presenters: Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder
Time TBD
Deuteronomy 30:19: "I have set before you life and death, choose life." Not a suggestion — a command disguised as a choice. This class explores the illusion of free will, the weight of decisions, and why GenX is the generation that had to choose between "settling down" and "selling out" before those words meant anything.
Garden of Forgotten Dreams
Presenters: Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder
Time TBD
Adam and Eve got kicked out of paradise for eating a fruit. We got kicked out of the American Dream for daring to question it. This class explores the Garden as the original "you're not invited" story, and why GenX relates more to the serpent than to God. The serpent at least told them the truth.
The Golden Calf Crisis
Presenters: Nicole Krauss
Time TBD
Moses goes up the mountain for 40 days and comes back to find the whole party worshipping a statue. Basically, the original "I leave for five minutes and everything goes wrong." We'll analyze this as the first recorded mid-life crisis, and how instant gratification has been destroying humanity since forever. Also: Aaron's excuse was terrible and we all know it.
The Song of Moses
Presenters: Nicole Krauss, Yehuda Amichai
Time TBD
The last thing Moses writes is a song. Not a tweet, not a status update — a whole entire song that tells the story of everything. We'll analyze why the ancients chose poetry to preserve truth, how songs outlive empires, and what tune we'll leave behind for the next generation to figure out.
Ten Plagues, One Breakup
Presenters: Paul Simon
Time TBD
Water to blood, frogs, lice, flies, livestock death, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and death of firstborns. That's not a breakup — that's a final answer to "why did you stay so long?" We'll analyze the ten plagues as the most dramatic exit in history, and what it takes to finally walk away when every cell in your body knows it's over.
The Shema: Hear, O Israel
Presenters: Paul Simon, Sarah Silverman
Time TBD
The most important prayer in Judaism: "Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one." Five words that changed everything. Before Spotify, before playlists, before algorithms — there was the Shema. We'll explore how a generation that grew up drowning in noise learned to recognize the one thing that actually matters.
Love Your Neighbor
Presenters: Philip Roth
Time TBD
"Love your neighbor as yourself" — the golden rule. It's right there in Leviticus 19:18, thousands of years before Twitter. We'll discuss how this radical concept got lost in translation, why the "as yourself" part is the most important bit, and how a generation that grew up with "no one cares about you" learned to care anyway.
Balaam's Talking Donkey
Presenters: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Time TBD
Balaam is a prophet, he's on his way to curse Israel, and God makes his donkey start talking. Yes, really. The original "wait, did my pet just speak?" moment. We'll unpack this surreal story and what it says about being so focused on your destination that you miss the signs along the way — or the donkey that suddenly has opinions.
The Spies Who Came In From the Desert
Presenters: Sarah Michelle Gellar
Time TBD
Twelve spies go scouting, ten come back with horror stories, two come back with grapes. The majority said "we can't do this." The minority said "let's try." The whole generation got punished for 40 years because the naysayers won. We'll examine this as the original tale of negative Nancys, and what happens when fear becomes policy.
The Day of Atonement
Presenters: Sarah Silverman
Time TBD
Once a year, everything gets forgiven. One day to clean the slate. Before therapy, before 12-step programs, there was Yom Kippur — the original reset button. This class explores what it means to have one day where you can be honest about being broken, and why we still desperately need something like this in the age of permanent digital records.
Parting Ways
Presenters: Yehuda Amichai
Time TBD
The original "overstaying your welcome." Pharaoh finally lets go — but not before ten plagues prove that sometimes you have to destroy everything to rebuild. We'll explore the Red Sea parting as the ultimate mic drop, and what it means to leave a situation that was killing you slowly. For everyone who's ever walked away from something that wasn't working.